Wants to be Needed
by Tries-too-hard
Summary: “Next time, you Avada Kedava the person that stops you from coming to me. Or else you’ll regret it.” Pining my arms down, he was purposely pushing most of his weight on me, I couldn’t breathe. "Yes, baby."PPXHP
1. Used

I love Hermione and Draco together, but I decided to change their characters for this story. Harry and Pansy need a turn.

________________________________________________________________________________**Used**

Sixth year started like every other year did, a long train ride with Draco and all of his rude, annoying, and horrible friends.

With Draco in my lap, I actually feel like a real girlfriend should. Loved, important. He shifted and landed on my bruise, another reminder. And I had thought it had gone away.

While the guys talked of the Dark Mark and all that shit that corrupted my life, the food cart rolled by. The knock was faint, the poor witch was afraid of the guys. Slytherins were always feared, just because of what they represent. Buying half the thing, Draco handed me a chocolate frog and some juice. I had hated eating the frogs, it took years for my mom to convince me they weren't real. They are still the only chocolate I wouldn't eat.

When another asshole walked in to join the conversation, I heard a light thud and looked up to see a foot come into view for half a second. A black shoe that looked like they were muggle hand-me-downs_. _No one else seemed to have noticed.

Continuing to act like someone wasn't there, I even threw in some horrible words. God, I hated this. Having to say bad things about people that I didn't know.

Sitting here, I just looked at Draco. He didn't know what my life was like at home. I had only seen him a few times over the summer, every time it was him climbing through my window after a fight with his dad. I loved when he came to me. We slept together and then he would stay as long as possible, like he wanted nothing else. He was good looking, with a slim toned body. I loved when he kissed me like he meant it. It never lasted though.

Stealing a peak up at the trunks, I could tell where Mr. Invisible was sitting. The trunks were at an odd angle and there was no way they would stay without some weight keeping them there. I didn't say anything. No point.

With only a few minutes left on the trip, I got up to go change into my green robes.

Hermione Granger was in the bathroom. I hesitated going in, she hated me passionately and had since first year, and I hated her after fourth. . I never knew why she hated me though. Hermione saw me and acted like I wasn't there. No surprise.

After a few awkward moments of it just being us in the room, Luna walked in. Then Hermione started talking to her. I smiled at Luna, but she was too busy talking about her newest creature that is invisible and living in Neville's plant. I muffled me laugh with a cough, and Granger sent me a dirty look.

By the time I got back, we were pulling into the station, but I still headed back to the compartment, and Draco was pushing his way out. Grabbing my arm, he pulled me away from the door. I had no idea why he felt I had to get off so quick, but he already had my trunk sent out so I guess it was okay.

I just hoped that he hadn't found out someone had been listening. That could be bad news.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Watching another round of first years get sorted, I feared what they were walking into. All being judged and they hadn't even been here for an hour. Forever known as people who were common , or smart, brave or deadly. No matter what they do, it would always stay with them.

The sorting was finally over, with fifteen new girls and twenty-one new boys in Slytherin, the upperclassmen were defiantly excited to have so many students to mess with. Poor kids, didn't know what was coming. The entire time Draco and Zabini had been talking about each of the first year's pranks.

"Baby, I'm thinking we sneak up to the Room of Requirements tonight. Get you out of those nasty robes," Draco whispered in my ear, sending shivers up my spine. He took my hand and put it over his pants, and I could already feel his erection.

Giggling, I gave him a little squeeze and whispered that I was a little tired. Making eye contact, I could see he was defiantly not going to be able to take that answer. The lust in his eyes was ridiculous.

Eating quickly, I told the one girl Blaise was fucking that I had to use the restroom and got up taking my bag with me. Stopping at the bathroom, I freshened myself up, put some lip gloss on and looked at myself in the mirror.

All I saw was pure ugly. Long, thick, brown hair with hollow green eyes, _I will always be nothing special. _The thought made tears pierce my eyes. No one had ever wanted me. No one ever would, Draco was just a stupid thing, because I had nothing else to do.

After calming myself down, I walked out into the corridor. I couldn't come to him tonight, he would find someone else to screw anyway. Just trying to blow off some steam I walked down random halls. Then I saw Potter.

He had a swollen eye and walked like he might have a broken rib. I jumped into a classroom doorway's alcove so I wouldn't be seen. He was walking to the hall alone. I looked at his shoes, _he_ had been in the compartment, and obviously caught by Draco. I don't know how I knew, it was just obvious. The hand prints were the same size as mine had been, were.

I wanted to say something, but it would just get me in trouble with everybody. I had wanted to say something to him so many times. I know what its like losing my family. I have never had the nerves to actually talk to him alone. Even if I had, I could have been murdered in the dungeons for it. Like now, I knew he would tell someone that the ugly Slytherin wretch tried to talk to him. Draco would know, and he wouldn't be happy.

Draco, Draco was waiting. Imagining the bruises covering Harry's body being on mine scared me and I decided to go to Draco.

I waited til Potter left and I started to head back to my boyfriend. I needed him now, not that I wanted him. Or else I would do something stupid. Again. And Hagrid was still at the feast, would be for awhile, he would eat half the table if he could.

Walking into the Room of Requirements, the door appeared to me. I took a deep breath and opened the door. He was sitting on the bed and looked pretty pissed. "Where the fuck have you been?" he asked me. The lust was gone, only anger remained. Suddenly afraid, I played my part. Walking over to the bed I pushed him down and straddled him, kissing down his neck.

"I went to the bathroom and one of the first years stopped me in the bathroom and I couldn't get rid of her. Then I took a wrong a turn, and had no idea where the hell I was," I told him, hoping he would take it.

Rolling me over, his erection pushed down on me. "Next time, you Avada Kedava the person that stops you from coming to me. Or else you'll regret it." Pining my arms down, he was purposely pushing most of his weight on me, I couldn't breathe.

"Yes, baby."

And then we did what we did every time he was angry. There wouldn't be any holding afterward. It was these times that I would never tell anyone about. I have grown accustomed to forgetting them.


	2. Trying

If you haven't read it, try my 10 things Pansy never told Potter. It'll give you a background on the story.

**Trying**

Waking up alone, I looked around the room. I could tell that I was already late to breakfast, but food didn't sound very good. And I'm fat enough as it is.

Sitting up and looking at the wall, the brown door that always appeared for me with just a thought coming to my head. This wish just happened to be a bathroom. I smiled, atleast some things never change.

After taking a quick shower and changing into my clothes (from yesterday, obviously), I headed into the main stairwell. There was still a good amount people moving about, which was a good sign for anyone who is ever almost late to classes. As long as your moving with a mob, you have time.

I took a quick stop in my room to grab my books, thank God I didn't run into anyone I would care about. And then I made my way to Potions. The room was already really full. I looked into the room and there was Draco, staring at me.. He was in a better mood.

Sitting down next to him, he put his arm around me. "Glad you're up, I didn't want to wake you. You looked so peaceful."

I blushed, after the hell I've been through he always knew what to say to me.

Snape walked in, and took a quick look around the room to find no one missing. He didn't seem happy that Draco had his arm around me, he was never a fan of PDA (public displays of affection, for anyone who doesn't know). He also had a thing for not liking Draco with girls. Maybe it came with almost being his dad.

He said, "Class, I'm so glad you are all here on time, today. Doubt that will go on for awhile." I couldn't help but smile, at least the guy was honest. "This year, I have decided to start off with studying the Fungus section. Its not going to be the simple things you had to go through in first year, you will have to create it, create life." The class was suddenly quiet.

Continuing, he looked down at a list, giving the overview of what we will be doing, "Partners will be.." _HOLY SHIT NO! _Of all the things he could do, partners. I mean, it sounds difficult but really? My life is over. I leaned into Draco, who seemed uneasy as well. As he was paired with Neville, and Blaise with some Ravenclaw that wears the cutest nerd glasses, I flipped. Snape obviously planned on screwing everyone over.

Then I heard my name next to his. I looked up for a second, and I could feel Draco's arm around mine tighten. Wait, did I say tighten? If his arm had been around neck, I would have choked to death.

_Potter?_ Of all the people for me to be partnered with. All the sudden, my secret crush was incredibly stupid. Why, why, why?

All I could think is, I will not cry. Draco would either kill Harry or me for spending one minute more than I need. I could imagine the bruises forming on my arm. The purple, and blue that would not be easy to cover from people. Is it sad that I think about covering them as more of a problem than getting them?

Then Harry looked at me, or at Draco, I couldn't tell which. I could see his scar so clearly. Then he smiled at me, I knew Draco wanted to murder him on the spot. I gave a weak smile, but anything more than that would make me collapse. I wouldn't be able to function.

Throughout the rest of the class, Draco cursed Snape to hell and back. Listening, all I could do was wonder where we would meet, what I would wear under my cloak. I ended up deciding I would wear my black bra under with my hot pink thong, not that he would see it. I only let Draco see that. And why was I thinking about my underwear and Potter? God, my future is fucked.

At the end of class, we were told to get with our partners. Neville bravely walked straight towards Draco, he was always the cutest thing. Nerdy, but still knightly at the same time, and a nice guy. An actually decent, nice guy.

I stood up and walked towards Harry, I knew that I might as well act normal. Harry had the seat next to him free, I sat down. I didn't know what to say though. He looked over at me and smiled, "Okay, so I know we aren't friends." and he laughed to himself a little. "But I am going to need you in this. The way he set it up, I can't cheat off Granger and I'm no good at this stuff." Before he trashed himself anymore, I tried to lighten up the situation, "Well, my grade needs a little boost too. We all just copy off Goyle, which doesn't do much." He looked happy that I seemed cool with him. Then he looked behind me, and I could feel the rays shooting through my back.

"Don't let Draco give you shit, okay." Harry said."We're randomly assigned. He wants to take it out on you, just tell me." I looked at him, and suddenly got defensive. Sign one of an abused girlfriend.

I replied, "He doesn't take things out on me so don't get your knickers in a twist over me, okay Harry.."

"Okay," is all he said, as he started reading off what we did he seemed slightly hurt.

Looking back, I wish that he had tried to dig a little deeper. But why would he?


	3. Abused

**Abused**

Leaving class, I didn't even wait for Draco. Those last few minutes in class had been hell. I had ruined my one chance of being normal with Harry. I ran towards my dorm, because I defiantly needed a few moments.

I laid down on my bed, the same one I slept on for years.

Calming down, I noticed it smelled like my perfume. Though the summer had been long the scent remained. The perfume was called Lipless, although I thought the name was a bit odd, its aroma was amazing. It isn't fruity, or floral, and it isn't spicy or sexy, it just is.

I rolled onto my stomach and inhaled deeply. The pain was my body was taking felt excruciating, it was the front of my body that beared all my contusions.

I sat up just to lift my sleeve and see what was coming of last night's antics. The patch of purple skin was the size of his hands, but not the shape. I could easily say a bludger hit me when I was playing quidditch with my cousin, not that anyone would notice.

I pulled out some string that was in my purse and started beading a bracelet. It occupied me for only a bit, the silence was deafening.

None of the other girls seemed to be coming to the room, they were probably outside on the lawn together. The three of them, Marlaina, Corrina, and Janie, had been best friends since the first week of school. I got along with them fine, but they usually didn't choose to hang out with me. I was too...not them.

I stood up to go to my trunk with contained most of my jewelry, I never liked to make the same bracelet twice.

I caught my reflection in the mirror.

The warning bell went off and my eyes continued looking at what I hated most. Draco had made me better, but there was still so much wrong. My body wasn't right to start with, and its not like I ever had any friends.

I considered skipping on McGonagall's class, but she hated me enough already. I tried to remember what I had done to her, but nothing came to mine. The time ticked by....

Then I unlocked the door, grabbed my bag, took a deep breath, and starting making my way to class.

I know it was a short chapter, just wanted to show how much she is alone. I really appreciate the reviews, they defiantly make me feel ten times better about writing, but I want some feedback on how to improve too.


	4. Annoyed

**Annoyed**

I was one of the last students in the class, the dormitory was so far from Gryffindor's section. The worst part was Draco wasn't in the class. Or the best part.

But there wasn't anyone I felt comfortable sitting with, which sucked horribly. There was an empty desk next to Neville, but he's probably scared enough with having to be Draco's partner. He didn't need anything else.

Dropping my bag off in an empty seat, I wished that I could have more friends. Looking around, I realized I was the only Slytherin, then I realized I was the only non-Gryffindor. Meaning, life hates me with a passion.

Then I heard a "bye, baby" and looked behind me, and almost vomited all over my shit. Harry and Ginny were together, I think it was the porno type kissing that gave me a hint.

I know that Harry has liked her for all really long time, because I'd seen it. He was always looking longingly at her, while she was cuddling with whoever the boy of the month was. Now they were eating each other, and I was staring.

Watching them, I start imagining his hands running up _my_ sides, caressing _my_ skin, making love to _me_. He would kiss down my neck, sweet kisses. Then he would get frisky and move towards my tit, licking and sucking. Rolling his tongue in circles, his hands would creep down and push against my cunt, giving me what I needed before taking anything.

"Hey, so do you think that we can start our project tonight" Harry asked me, how the fuck he got that close to my face and left Ginny, I had no idea.

"Uh-hum," I sounded, trying not to moan. "The library?"

He sat down next to me and motioned Hermione from the doorway, the bitch.

Life may hate me with a passion, but I hated her ten times more than that..

Then, Harry smiled at me with that big, intoxicating grin...and I had to catch myself from going back to Dreamland.

"Sure," I said. "But only for like a few hours cause I have a fuck load of homework." I couldn't let myself be with him too much. Draco wouldn't be able to handle it.

He gave me a look like I was crazy, "But Potion's the only class that we've had. Unless your psychic or something, which would come in handy to what we should do tonight."

I gave him a look, "My friend told me that she had to write an essay for Charms, and that it already took her a half hour to write the first two paragraphs." At this point, Granger made an annoying said that totally said, "Your friend must be completely stupid" which made me even more pissed, and I glared at her.

"So, we can meet in the library after dinner, and then I have to work on Charms at like 7," I finished. I really wanted to get up and leave dramatically. He cannot know, under any circumstances, how I think about him.

"Sound good," he said, genuinely. Then he started talking to Ron who sat down next to Granger. They went on about Quidditch for awhile. I wasn't paying much attention, until I heard Ron say something about Owen Magoon.

"He's an amazing trainer, and he's really good with healing spells, so they don't need to pay an extra doctor to be there. He's saved tons of lives, and he draws girls to him like he's fucking God. I totally need to do that."

I hadn't talked, but I couldn't help throw in my two cents, or like ten bucks.

"Actually, he's not that great of a trainer. He read one book and went to school for a week, and then the Wasps hired him only because they were desperate. He's the reason why Jasper Tenbrook left the team, along with their three other top players over the next two seasons. He's the biggest dick in the world, and couldn't even fly 'til he was eighteen. You still wanna be him, Ginger?"

Ron shifted in his desk like he didn't know what to say. Hermione had stopped writing whatever homework she had attempted to get a month ahead on and was gaping at me. Harry looked at me, just looked. Finally Ron spoke.

"Bloody hell, you hate him pretty bad for not ever knowing him." Hermione smirked at that. Well, fuck them.

"Well, I do know him. He's my uncle, so I can hate him all I want." Harry looked at me like I was a little angel, which made no fricken' sense.

Then McGonagall started talking. And I couldn't decided whether it was a good thing, or a bad thing.

Don't forget to review. If you're a writer, you know how much it helps.

I don't feel as confident over this chapter, but it needed to happen.


	5. Begun

**Begun**

Dinner was uneventful. Or maybe because I was only focused on meeting in the library.

Draco was rubbing my knee, and slowly moving upwards. I leaned in towards his body. He was talking with Blaise about Quidditch, but I knew what he was thinking about.

Then Jenni started talking, she was the girl Blaise was fucking. I found out in Charms that she actually had a name, go figure.

"I totally am glad we have Hogsmeade this weekend. It's only been a day of school and I need to breathe, you know what I mean? God, so I can't believe we have to write that essay for tonight. Do they want me to sleep?" And then she went on, and then she went on some more. I through in a few "I know"s so that she didn't realize I was ignoring her.

She actually wasn't a bad girl, but she wasn't that good. Three seats down, my roomies were giggling and talking. Jealousy erupted in my body, why couldn't I have one friend who wanted me for me.

Draco felt my body tense and gave me some attention for awhile. He was being sweet, he even told me I was beautiful. When he gave me a kiss on the cheek, I couldn't help but tell him how much I love him. I had my arms wrapped around him for the rest of the meal.

When we were dismissed, Draco walked me to the library. He seemed to think he was staying, but even if I wasn't meeting Harry, I knew it would be a bad idea. So after a few good kisses, the kind I live for, he went away. I told him for every minute I was with Harry, I would give Draco a kiss on a different part of his body. He liked that.

After finding some books and laying them out, I waited for Harry.

And after fifteen minutes of work, he still wasn't here.

By the time it was 6:30, I was fuming, and then the scarface still didn't walk in. I wouldn't let myself cry, but I felt abandoned. I felt my body shaking, and I picked up the books that I had checked out and went outside the doors.

I walked right past Goyle and Crabbe, who were calling my name. Snape tried to stop me in the hall, and I ignored him. I was in full Bitch mode.

I climbed down the circular staircase for towards the boys' side. I through open Draco's door and found him with Blaise and some smelly potion. I told Blaise to get the fuck out and found Jenni below him. She complained that she didn't feel good. Probably because she didn't know how to handle the potion. It was the pot for a wizard, only less harmful.

I told Blaise that he and his whore should get the fuck out now. Draco looked at me, and backed me up.

"Do the girl somewhere else, Blay. Me and Pansy are going to be busy for awhile."

He looked at me like he knew that I was going to implode, like he knew what I was feeling, and the worst part was he did. Everything I go through, he goes through, which is why we were so perfect for each other.

Once Blaise and Jenni had left, I couldn't hold it in. Draco cursed out Harry and said he would kick his ass for me and I couldn't help but enjoy every moment of the conversation. He almost seemed more frustrated than I was.

Within moments, I couldn't keep my eyes from wandering up and down his body as he described everything, in complete detail, he was going to do to Harry.

I kissed him first, and he kissed back immediately. We didn't do much otherwise, which was surprising. He also went straight for the pants.

He pulled away first and laid his head on my chest. We just lay on the ground together and listened to each others heartbeat. Then he spoke.

"Why do you care that much?" Draco asked. The question scared me, I didn't know how to answer. If he remembered the first time he hit me, he would realize why I care.

"He just seemed like he was going to be decent and then made me pissed off." I was talking slowly, I didn't want to get him riled up. "Its not like I want to be here in the first place, and then he makes me work on our project for a half hour and never shows up."

Draco's eyes pierced mine and I shivered. No, no. There was usually time between the....anger.

"I just don't get it." He said, and he was really, really losing it. "He's a fucking idiot and we all know that. I should have stayed with you, and waited til he showed up. God, but of coarse you didn't want me there. Where you planning on fucking him between the shelves?"

I just stared. Anything I said would be bad, not what he wanted.

"You, I just wanted to see if..." He interrupted me with a slap on the face. The sting was excruciating.

I started to tear up, and got up to leave. Then he pulled me down by the arm. He had me kneeling in front of him like he was a God. I wanted to vomit.

"You don't try anything with Potter. I will hurt him next time he sees your ugly face, but you have will not talk to him unless its necessary. And stop crying, you wonder why no except me likes you. Even Jenni was talking about how you're the stupidest shit she's ever met. I had to agree."

I was balling. His hand on my arm was on the bruise from last night, and I could feel it swelling. He let go of me and I fell backward. Looking down, I wished that I hadn't come to this awful room.

I looked up and met his eyes, and he gave me nothing. I knew he did it because his father had. No weakness, or you would get it. I was all weakness.

I got up to leave and he didn't grab at me. He was done.

"I'll see you in the morning," I said weakly. Then I headed up the spiral stairs and went to the girls bathroom. Corrina was in there and she saw I was upset. She looked sympathetic for a moment, and then went into the tub room.

"Pansy, I'll get you a bath ready okay. Honey, you look like you need to relax. Did you and Malfoy get in a fight?"

I was shocked, she had never really acknowledged I was with Draco. She came around the corner and gave me a quizzical look.

I smiled, although I probably looked like crap, she smiled back.

"Ya, Snape gave all these horrible partners out and I got paired with Harry. Then he ditched me after dinner today and somehow it ended in me and Draco getting into a fight, go figure."

I didn't give away anything. But it felt good to say that, amazing actually. Corrina started talking about how we just use guys for their penises . Within minutes we were cracking up, apparently she had dated a guy named Ian over the summer and he was horny all the time. She had some really funny stories.

"So I was just getting ready for bed and there was a knock on my window. I looked down and there he was. I always wanted something cute like that to happen, so I ran downstairs and he was like, 'I've been thinking about you.' So I gave him a kiss, and then he continued to tell every way he wanted to screw me. Not what I was looking for."

Maybe it was my bad mood, but I found that the funniest thing in the world. I walked back to the tub, and was about to strip when I remembered the bruises. She covered her eyes and I took my clothes off and got under the bubbles.

"It's all clear," I giggled.

She then took off all her clothes in front of me and got into the neighboring bathtub. I was stunned that she didn't care that I had just seen her fully naked body.

"So anyway, I dumped him within one month and don't regret it at all. I mean, don't tell anyone, but he was even the first guy I kissed and I'm seventeen. But, he defiantly wasn't worth anything. He was just sleazy."

I looked over at her and nodded my head. She was so comfortable with herself, and she wasn't perfect. Her body hadn't been bad at all, but she had her rolls and curves.

I went all the way under and relaxed as water soothed my pains.

When I came back up, we talked for a little bit longer, and I trusted her. She left, because the other girls wanted to play a board game, and she invited me along. I decided to stay, but I wasn't sure whether that made me want some alone time, or a loner.

When she left, I realized she hadn't dug deeper about me and Draco. She just talked the awkwardness away and we had become friends. For the first time in Hogwarts History, I had made a friend without anyone else assisting me.

this is the third version of this chapter, it took so long.

Love the reviews, thanks everyone.


	6. Surprised

Sorry it took so long!

I told myself I didn't one to be a writer that takes two or three weeks to post a measly chapter. Now, I can't believe some writers post one a day.

Review!

**Surprised**

By the time I finished my Charms essay, it was 11:00 and there was no way I was going to bed anytime soon. So, I headed out the painting of the Headless King and headed towards Hagrid's Hut.

I went left, away from the main stairwell, and went underneath the tapestry to the Hidden Room. Few knew of it, even most Slytherins were unaware of its existence. I only knew, because of my uncle. He had told me that he drank there with a select number of his friends on numerous occasions.

Once in the Hidden Room, there was a door only appeared if you wished to escape. It slowly exposed itself with its great Oak wood and ancient door know. When I stepped through it, I found myself where I always found myself, in the Herbology greenhouse that held the hybrid flowers.

I always had a moment as I came to the greenhouse. Looking around, I stopped to admire the flowers as my eyes adjusted to the light. In my earlier years, I always imagined coming in here and Harry would be looking at my flower. Thea giant sunflower that most would think had h nothing magical about it. During class on many occasions I've heard people mention what a useless stem it was. But it opened for me, at night it would come alive. They didn't understand it just didn't enjoy being admired by everyone..

I lost track of time, strolling around the large facility. It was until I heard a sound outside that I even remembered my reason for being out. I ducked behind a nearby table and saw a gigantic outline of a man and a big black dog through the window. I smiled, and headed out the door towards the familiar image.

I ran to catch up with Hagrid, and I didn't mean to scare him so badly, but he yelped.

"Well, yer scared me. I was jus' goin' ter the woods. Yer gonna comin' along then?" He asked me, never remembering the rule that no students are allowed in the Forbidden (hm...) Forest. I didn't remind him, and followed quickly.

We had some small chat, how our summers were, and I picked on him and his new lady.

"Now, yer know that we jus' workin' together fer the cause righ'? I wan' ter know how you and yer boy been? No problems, I'm hopin'?

I paused, and he noticed.

"Yeh're a good girl. Yeh might be in Slytherin, but yeh ain't a bad person. Yeh don't deserve some o' the things yeh make yerself go through." I shrugged, but it was too dark for him to see. We continued in silence for a few minutes, but we reached the plant Hagrid was searching for and started to talk more.

He didn't mention Draco for the rest of the night I have never said exactly why I come to talk to Hagrid, but he knew. He always knew .

Once we felt comfortable again, I found out that Madame Maxine was going to visit during the winter.

"You should take her out to a romantic dinner with candles, roses, and a really nice meal." I said, trying to get him to talk about her more.

He was coming up with reasons why they were just friends as we walked in his front door and Harry popped out of fucking nowhere. I know I wasn't paying attention to the doorstep, but there was no way he had been there before.

"Hey Hagrid, I didn't mean to barge in...," Harry started. Then he looked at me, and was really shocked. I wanted to hit the boy, he fucked my night over .

"Harry, how was your night?" I said, the words coming out like knives. All he could do was stutter, frickin' pansy. "Sounds like it was enjoyable, bye Hagrid. Nice talking to you. We can catch up more some other time," I said quickly and turned around.

Starting to make my way towards the greenhouse, I calmed down, but still was no better off then when I had left the library.

I took big strides, and reached the glass door within five minutes. I went inside, locked myself in, and slumped down the wall. I sat and just tried to breathe deeply. I started playing with my ruby ring, one that I had owned since I was six.

The ring had been my mother's and her grandmother's. It was one of the few things I owned that had been my mother's. Twisting it in circles again and again, I tried to remember her face from the picture I had at my uncles, and couldn't get the image right.

A soft knock at the door made me almost jump out of my knickers, and I looked up to see Harry's face looking down on mine. We stared at each other and I wondered whether to let him in or not.

When I didn't, he knocked more. Realizing if I didn't open the door he would never leave and I could never exit to the Hidden Room, I crept the door open slowly.

He was breathing hard, as if he had run miles. And when our eyes met, there was a moment when I couldn't breathe. Then he shoved the door open and I almost fell backward.

"Pansy, I'm sorry about earlier. I went to go grab my book in my dorm, so I sent Hermione to tell you that I was going to be late. When I got to the room, ten people stopped me about Quidditch try-outs. Ten! By the time I got to the library it was 6:45, you had left, and Hermione apparently had gone to the lake with Ginny. I'm really sorry. I just left the library a half hour ago, I did the first week of it. I'm sorry, really."

His breathing had sped again, and I had to forgive him a little. The story sounded right, Hermione would have purposely gone out of her way to ignore me. And it would take a while to go to his room, see people, then to the library.

"Did you really do the first week of work?" I asked, hopefully.

"Well, maybe not the _whole_ first week. And you couldn't really trust my work, but I tried."

I laughed. "I bet you did."

He smiled weakly, and for some odd force that possessed me, I kissed him on the cheek. "Better watch your back, Draco's out for you. Bye." And I nudged him towards the door. He gave me a look like he was a little confused.

"Draco's always out for me. See ya," and he walked out the door and jogged to Hagrid's. I didn't spend much more time in the greenhouse. After a short time, I headed back through the Hidden Room, under the tapestry, through the Headless King painting, and up to my room. In bed, I could barely sleep. Harry filled my mind.

And I knew I should still be mad at him, but I just couldn't be. Just couldn't...

I was super happy to find a Hagrid translator online. It was really helpful, and if you are ever bored I recommend it.

I know that Pansy is all over the place, but get ready for something big in the next chapter.


	7. Struggling

Thanks for reviews, and thanks for reading. I'm thinking maybe ten more chapters. Sorry it takes so long for me to write, expect a chapter a week from now on.

This is a more dark chapter, but it needed to come.

**Struggling**

The morning light forced me out of bed, and, for once, I was the first one awake. I made my way to the bathroom, quickly showered, got dressed, and headed to breakfast.

Draco was barely touching his food and having a very in-depth chat with Goyle, if that was even possible.

"Well, if the Snape had any sense he would have let us chose partners. Apparently, I'm going to have to spend with Neville. The guy can't even measure out the ingredients much less create a fucking thing."

"But, I got paired with this super hot Ravenclaw chick. And she's not even that smart. She cracked a 'That's what she said' joke. It was fucking hilarious. I wouldn't mind making anything with her. I just can't remember her name. Tracy....Taylor. Something of the sort."

Rolling my eyes, I sat down and began my morning apple. Draco and Goyle continued their oh-so compelling discussion. They had decided her name was either, Tanya or Stacy. If they had just bothered to notice me, I would have told them that her name was actually Remy.

"Oh, hey baby. How did you sleep?" Draco asked me, in a I-know-what-you-did-last-night-you-little-whore voice.

"Didn't get to sleep til late, so much homework for one friggin' night," I replied, not making eye contact. I was the worst liar that ever crossed into Slytherin. With one look, everyone could tell if I was lying. I might be able to keep secrets, but with yes or no questions it was obvious.

Draco turned back to Goyle after a few more questions, but I could tell he still seemed riled up from the night before.

I sat there alone, surrounded by people, but alone.

Then someone nudged my knee and I looked over to see that Corrina had sat down next to me, with Marliana, Janie and a few other girls.

They were that group of girls that didn't hang out with guys. Some of them dated, but they were happy enough just being together. Behind their back, they were ridiculed as the lesbians, but defiantly weren't. Marliana had had three boyfriends in the last four months alone.

I remembered my first year, when I went to one of their parties. They just did stupid things, messed around, and were actually quite entertaining. I never did join them, just watched. I wanted to be friends with them, but could never quite get out of my safety zone.

Marliana gave Corrina a glare, but sat down across from me. I noticed Goyle and Draco look up surprised for a moment, but immediately went back to each other.

"So, Pansy," Corrina said. "What are you doing for Hogsmeade this weekend?"

Janie jumped in and started to get really excited as she explained their plan. "We have totally been thinking about how we should go to that creepy bar down that one street. You know, the one completely full of old dudes. Me and Mariana went in this summer, and they actually aren't that bad looking. Plus, we can totally get away with drinking without the teachers being there. And, if we get bored, there is supposedly that haunted house. Not the shrieking shack, there is this other one deep in the woods. I heard it takes like thirty minutes to get there. It would be totally cool. You can bring Draco too."

I looked over at Draco. He wouldn't want to go. He probably would go, but not with these girls. He would make fun of me, saying I was just another dyke.

"I'd love to come. Um, I may not make it to the bar. But, I can go to the house."

Marliana made a sound, she had never liked me at all. Another one of my problems.

They talked for a while, I tried to join in a few times, but they talked so fast. When Draco took my hand and stood up, I knew he was going to talk to me.

"I'm sorry about last night. I guess I freaked out on you a little. I just, so much stress with having to deal with my dad and The Dark Lord." He started to lean in, nuzzling me. His lips hitting my collarbone with kisses that made me shiver. He had taken me into another one of the many deserted classrooms in Hogwarrs.

He was going to get angry. I had seen the glare this morning, but he was acting a bit odd.

"I got a letter last night saying they need me this weekend. So, I'm not going to get to hang out with you at the trip. Jenni said that she wanted to go to shopping with you," Draco said quietly.

I was surprised, I hadn't expected him to be called while he was at school. I nodded, I could go with Corrina and that group. I smiled a little.

Draco caught the smile, and tensed up. "Thanks for being sympathetic, bitch." He pushed me away, and my shoulder hit the wall. God, that hurt.

"I...I'm just glad you get to finally do something with the war." I wrapped my arms around his neck, and gave him a kiss. It didn't seem to make much of a difference though.

He looked at me, and knew I was lying. But he didn't say anything. He didn't call me out, or threaten me. He didn't even push me.

"What were you doing outside last night with Potter?" he asked.

I froze, how the hell did he know I was outside. And I wasn't even out with Harry, I was with him in the greenhouse, and for a second at Hagrid's. How did he know.

"I went for a quick walk, because I couldn't sleep. I ran into Hagrid and Harry. I left after like two seconds. Why?"

He didn't believe me. I wasn't completely lying. I had only gone for a quick walk.

"Then why didn't you tell me. I want to kill that fucker already, and now he following you or something. You shouldn't have gone outside anyway. Next time, you come to my room. How the hell did you get outside anyway?"

I hesitated, and he hit me. Hard.

It felt like slow motion. I saw his knuckles swinging at my face. The second they collided with me, my head went back to bang against the wall. I don't know when the tears came, but I was on the ground and could feel my mouth bleeding

He watched me trying to keep from breaking down.

"You deserved it," he said weakly. He was never as strong after he hit me. He looked down at me like he regretted it. He always regretted it.

I tried to make no sounds. The blood tasted like iron, I wanted to vomit. I wanted to never get up. I wanted to die.

Time passed and I thought about how I hated life.

He bent down and sat next to me for awhile, holding me. Once the bell rang, he got up, left the empty classroom, and made his way to Potions. I took my mirror out and saw the bruise on my face. He had hit my face, he never hits my face.

I covered my new injury with a spell, and went to the bathroom to clean my mouth out. I got to class with seconds left and he didn't say anything to me.

When we got together with partners, it was hard to talk. My teeth kept knocking the open wound. Harry seemed to assume I was still a little mad. We finished the in-class assignment with as little noise as possible.

He told me that we should meet at the library at six, but that he would be there at five forty-five just to be safe. He had a joking tone, trying to lighten the mood. The bell rang before I replied. I grabbed my stuff, and was the first to leave the room. I went to my dorm room and Janie was there. She smiled brightly at me as she left to her class. Our schedules were completely opposite.

Once alone, I took the second shower of the day. I turned the water up as hot as it could go, turning my skin red with heat. I stood in the water, imagining being anywhere else. After a solid half hour, I got out and caught my reflection in the mirros. The spell was gradually wearing off and I could tell my face was swelling underneath. There was a black tennis ball sized bruise forming. Looking at the other bruises, I shuddered.

I lay on my bed waiting for Transfiguration to start. When the warning bell went off, I made sure I looked suitable, and headed up. I was late on purpose, so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone. The only desk left was next to Neville in the back corner. I took it eagerly and listened to the class.

I didn't end up going to lunch. I was told Draco needed to talk to me. But I was sick, I didn't want to see him.

Before I went to Flitwick's class, I went into his room to find him with Blaise.

He motioned for me to lay next to him and I did. Blaise left after a few minutes, and we just lay next to each other, knowing what the other was thinking about.

"I'm sorry," was all he said. I didn't reply, but fell asleep on his chest. He was the only one who ever loved me.

There will be more with the physical abuse. But, I just wanted to show you how Draco losses control and Pansy takes it.

Sorry, I haven't been responding to reviews as much as normal. I'm going to show more of Pansy's problems with Hermione and I hope I gave you an idea of why she isn't so close to Corrina, Mariana, and Janie. They get along fine, but aren't close enough to really call each other friends.

My longest chapter.


	8. Mortifying

Mortifying

I walked out the Great Hall and looked out on the lawn. I had been released from my Flitwick's class early for the first time in years. Draco had a free period, and I knew that he loved the big Oak tree near the lake so I headed out there to be with him.

Shocked to see him with some fifth year I had noticed before, I headed for the pair. As I got closer and closer, I noticed they were sitting way too close to each other for my taste. She was brushing his hair with her hand, and her body was completely in his lap. Bitch switch: On.

"Draco, when are we going to get to be together for real. I'm sick of these...quickies," the fucktard giggled. Well!

I immediately responded, in my kind I've-been-raised-to-be-a-lady-voice, "When pigs fucking fly."

Draco jumped, and I could see his little boner die a little. She got off his lap and looked at me and all I heard was "Oh Shit" before I sent a few spells her way.

Draco, of coarse, had been ready for my attack so he blocked most of them. I hate that he always keeps his wand within a arms' reach. Thankfully, she got an old warty one. As a gross, enormous wart started forming over her face she screamed, grabbed her purse and ran off. I was quite proud, if I do say so myself.

"That was unnecessary and you know it," my supposed-to-be-boyfriend retorted. I glared at him and immediately started to tear up.

"With all the shit I go through with everything, you can't just be faithful."

He snorted. I wanted to stab him, cry and then kill stab him again.

He brushed past me and headed up the hill back to the castle after the little twat.

Laying down where they had just been, I collapsed against the tree. It was where our first kiss was, and he was getting a fucking hand-job there, probably on a daily basis.

I sat there for about two hours, missing the meal and just sitting. I heard footsteps coming in my direction and didn't look up until a shadow stood over me, blocking the sun from blinding my eyes, which had been how I was spending my evening.

"Are you okay?" the tall, skinny shadow asked me.

"Just dandy," I replied, completely aware my face was red and blotchy from crying.

"Just wanted to let you know you're boyfriend is making out with some sleazy girl from Ravenclaw."

"Thanks, I'm aware."

Then the shadow sat down next to me. My dear potions partner lay next to me for a good twenty minutes before talking again.

"You know, you don't deserve that. After everything you've been through especially."

_That _pissed me off.

"And I bet you know, everything I've been through."

He seemed taken aback at my attitude, but I needed to get my anger out.

As I was about to continue, he put his hand on my arm and started rubbing it up and down.

"It's okay. You don't have to be nice to me. I know I'm not you're favorite person. Just thought you wanted to talk to me, but not if you're going to act like that."

And he stood up and walked away.

Oh God, Harry. I hate you sometimes.

******************************************************************************

I went to the kitchens when it was dark out and I didn't want to sit right next to the lake.

When I walked inside, the elves were relatively calm. They were just cleaning some leftover dishes. They didn't ask what I wanted when they say me, they didn't charge or try to assault me until I eat one of their brownies. Over the years, the learned to just let me alone.

One of the few things that stayed the same over the years was my love to cook. I could do it all day. Tuna casserole or crumb cake, pot roast or stuffed mushrooms. I needed to think so I decided to create the perfect meal: a piece of chicken sauteed withzucchini, onions, mushrooms, green peppers and yellow squash.

It took me thirty minutes for my entree to finish, but it was worth it. For not wanting to eat all day, I scarfed it down and wished I had made more (so I did).

Wishing I didn't have to go back to the horrid dungeons, I took the long way around which passed through halls of gorgeous art. I thought it was gorgeous because it had no people. The scenes contained nature blowing in the wind of waterfalls overflowing with chilly water, no stupid knights looking for a quest or fat lady's_ trying_ to sing.

I stopped at my favorite painting, a water color mural of a tree standing in the middle. The leaves were golden brown, red and yellow with no healthy, alive green leaves. There were other trees, along the side, but they were nothing compared to _this_ tree. The tree's base looked superior to everything in the picture. It was wide, yet short. I dreamt about the tree, which sounds crazy. But its so beautiful. But there was something morbid about the rest of the photo. You could see winter creeping closer through the barren trees surrounding, and the lack of animals.

*********************************Lovely***************************************

It's been months since I updated, I have had writer's block. Read and Review, but don't complain about how long it takes me, because I'm a busy girl. I will_ hopefully _be back into the swing of things.


	9. Welcomed

**Welcomed**

I walked into the Great Hall to face my fears. Draco wasn't there, but I didn't dare sit next to Blaise. Corrina looked up at me and gestured for me to sit down with them. Hogsmeade was tomorrow and they were making definite plans (which I didn't know people did.)

"So we start with the candy shop, then we go to that one clothing store we found, then I heard that Fred and George opened a small joke shop by that stupid romantic restaurant and then I really want to go to Hogs' Head. We can make some new friends again," Janie said.

The entire group of girls erupted in laughter and I couldn't help but smile a little. So, one of them leaned over and told me that the last time they went in, two guys got in a fight, and the one that lost came and sat by them because he had nowhere else to go. Apparently, he was quite entertaining and horribly drunk.

"Are _you _coming?" Marliana sneered at me.

Everyone got a little quiet and I looked over at Corrina who nodded at me.

"Hell ya I'm coming," I said, "So was the drunk cute or old and creepy?"

Everyone started talking again, explaining that he was really young but super creepy. Marliana was shooting daggers at me, but I ignored them because apparently everyone else seemed to be glad to see me.

When the bell rang, everyone headed to their classes and I went to mine. Transfiguration was the first, then lunch and then class with Trewlaney.

I got to transfiguration earlier so I could choose a better seat than last time. I took a seat in the center on the very left so I would have to sit by just one person. Reading a romantic novel my aunt had given me (one of the few things we have in common-we love vampire books), I ignored every person who came in the room. I couldn't help but notice that no one took the seat next to me. They had taken most of the other seats though: depressing.

As the bell rang, someone loud and obnoxious threw themselves on the seat with an "Oooff." I slowly lifted my head to find myself sitting right next to Neville Longbottom. He smiled and me and gave me a little wave. I tried not to shudder.

As far as I know, the kid has never had real friends. He had a gross toad and some psychopath, year-younger, friend named Luma or something. And let me tell you, she's a complete freak.

"So...what are you reading?" he asked me while McGOnagall wrote the class assignment on the board. I hated her class because she always allowed interactive lessons where we would have to communicate with each other.

"Right now, this really annoying kid just approached this girl that is defiantly not his type and her boyfriend, who happens to be a werewolf-vampire half-breed comes and rips his throat out. "

Neville took a really loud gulp.

"That sounds interesting. My friend Luna always reads books about pixies and weird love triangles like that."

"I _don't _read about pixies."

He looked at him like he regretted either talking to me in the first place, or bringing up his friend. I couldn't tell.

"Now class, today we are going to review every spell you have ever had to learn. Some of them you use in everyday life, like morning spells that help you look awake" (insert stupid girls giggling) "and more advanced spells, like transforming cups into cats. I have made the list on the board, every single spell is found in your book, I double-checked so do not approach me and say otherwise. Your partner will be the person sitting next to you. If you need help figuring out who that is, please keep it to yourself. Now begin."

Everyone stood up as she swept the desks to the sides of the room with just a flick of her wrist. Neville tried to smile at me, but it looked more like he was dying. He was never very good at any form of magic, except herbology. I, surprise, am actually quite talented at it.

"Set your shit down, Longbottom." I looked at the board. The list was quite simple. "I know all those by heart, so just tell me when you don't how to do one and I'll help you out."

Relieved, Neville put his books in the corner and, on his way back, Harry pulled his over and whispered something to Neville. They were both looking at me, which I didn't like one bit. Fuck them.

I looked at the board and went started the list. By the time Neville came back, I was half-way through.

"Is it true?" he asked.

"Is what true?" I said with a very bored voice. My cup had turned into a Calico cat, but I was aiming for a Siamese one.

"Draco and you broke up, because you hooked up with Crabbe. Then when he got with some other chick you tried to kill her."

I froze. "No, that's not true." He attempted to read my face, but I wouldn't let it happen. I finished the list while he was only on the second spell, which had you turning a patch of your hair blue and then back again. His turned pink and then purple.

I helped him and, although we were a little behind everyone else, we finished with the majority of people.

The bell rang as he said "thanks" but grabbed my purse and hustled off. I didn't want him to think we were buddies.

As I turned a corner, someone grabbed my arm and pulled me into an empty classroom.

I gasped. It was completely dark and I couldn't make out who it was.

Then the person pushed me up against the wall, pulled my hands up and started kissing me.

Draco.

I could tell by the way he held me, by the way he kissed me, by the way he dug his hips into me. I loved it.

Taking a breather, he leaned his forehead against mine.

"Sorry, I just really had to do that," said a voice that did _not_ belong to Draco.

I jumped back and hit my head because, well, I had a wall behind me and couldn't jump back.

"Who the fuck?" I questioned, as I pushed the person off me.

"Who the hell do you think it is?" He questioned bitterly. I pulled my wand out and muttered _Lumos. _The light illuminated his face, his gorgeous green eyes, his scar and his drop dead sexy lips.

"Harry?"

*****************************************************************************

I'm not quite sure how much I have left. Review please, I would love some criticism.


	10. Enticed

**Enticed**

"Who else would it be?" he asked.

I looked up into his eyes. I wanted it to be Harry kissing me, for a really long time. But why the hell did my heart just break because it wasn't Draco.

He just stared at me, he was shaking with anger. He knew who I thought it was. He could see the pain on my face. He headed for the door.

"Wait." I didn't know what to say to him. My eyes were adjusting to the dark, and I put my wand away.

Harry was with Ginny. Ginny, the girl he saved from the Chamber of Secrets, the girl he has been on-again-off-again with for years.

"What?" his eyes were pleading with me. He looked, ashamed and embarrassed.

I took a step towards him and started to kiss him like I needed him. As if, without him I wouldn't make it. I pushed him against the wall. I could feel him smiling. He picked me up and set my on a desk. He was so much taller.

When our tongues met, I realized that Draco had never kissed me like this. I had always wanted him to kiss me like he meant it, but he only kissed me like he was horny.

I shivered as his hands ran up my sides. His thumbs were massaging my nipples and I gasped when he pinched me. He made his way down his neck as I put one of my hands in his hair, and another scratching my nails down his back.

He had made his way to my collarbone and we were both gasping for air. I wanted him so bad. Thankfully, I was wearing the shortest skirt I have ever owned. I took Harry's hand and pleased against my soaked underwear. He groaned, surprised that I was moving so quickly. He put two of his fingers pressing against my underwear. I moaned and he pushed his lips against mine to contain the noise I was making. He pulled his fingers away and he laughed at the indescribable sound I made.

I pulled my hand from his hair and stuck it down his pants. His lips stopped moving against mine as I started giving him a hand-job. I was surprised at how sensitive he was, just touching him was putting him on the edge. He smiled to myself, this was probably farther than he ever got with the ginger.

I slowed down, teasing him from his peak. He didn't seem to happen about it, so he pushed my hand against him. "Don't stop," he muttered in a sexy, raspy voice.

I pushed him away from me, got down from the desk and got on my knees. He looked down at me and leaned on the desk. I grinned and put him into my mouth. He tried to keep quiet, but he huffed pretty-fucking loud. I took him out of my mouth and murmured "Quiet baby."

I saw him nod and I blew on his tip. I could feel his body tense around me, and I could feel he was about to cum. I put him back in my mouth, did a few tricks I had learned, and got him as close to the brink without making him go overboard.

I stood up and sat back on the deck. His breathing sounded so hard. I pulled my underwear down to my knees. He looked at me.

"Are you sure?"

I stopped. This is not what he had in mind when he pulled me in here.

"Only if you want to." I whispered into his ear, then I nibbled on his earlobe.

He was about to do it. He leaned his body against mine. He was pushing against me. I could tell that he was making the decision. I didn't understand why it was so hard for him to make. As he took a deep breath and started to come inside me, I dug my nails into his back again.

He was going slowly into me, I hated it and loved it at the same time. He started getting a rhythm and we moved against each other.

I heard a sound but couldn't place it. I was too busy paying attention to every little thing Harry was doing. The way he was holding me, the way he was looking at me, the way his energy made me feel good about myself.

Then the door flew open. Severus Snape looked fucking surprised. He stammered before talking "get your clothes on. You have two minutes before you meet me outside. I do not want to hear a sound from either of you."

Harry must not have heard the door fly open, because he pulled himself out and pulled his pants up immediately. He was still hard as rock, and I wished we had had a few more seconds where he could cum with me.

He looked up at me, scared to death. I grinned at him in an it-could-be-worse way.

"Shit," was all he could muster.


	11. Punished

**Punished**

I went to open the door, we were both ready.

"I just...that got out of control," he said to me. I whipped around to look at him.

"Excuse me?" I spat.

"I...I wasn't planning on doing that. I just wanted to tell you that..."

Looking at him, I saw that he was trying to break something to me.

"I just...I really like you, Panse. I didn't expect it to go that far. Fuck, I really just wanted to kiss you."

I tried not to cry. I fucked him, and he was apologizing? What the hell is wrong with this kid?

"Pansy, look at me. I have had feelings for you for awhile and I hate that I just let that get out of control-"

"Shut up," his shocked expression upset me. "You...you pulled me into a dark classroom and we, okay, went a little fast but don't you dare try to apologize your way out of it. Just tell me that you don't want to be around me. It's not as hard as it sounds.

Snape knocked on the door, actually he banged on the door.

"One second." I hollered.

"I'm not trying to apologize my way out of it. Just...well I don't even know. I'm still with Ginny and I know I pulled you in here but I didn't really think about how it would end up and us having sex was not what I even considered doing."

I opened the door. Snape looked at me, and could immediately tell that a fight was breaking out.

"Stop talking, we're going to my office. I will not report this to Dumbledore. I don't know what the hell the two of you were thinking, ditching class and wanking in an empty classroom."

They had entered the dungeons, and Harry wasn't saying a word. Pansy mainained her distance directly between the two men. She was more upset that Harry was a stupid prat who was just fucking with her than getting caught actually fucking with him.

"Sit down." The pair took a seat opposite Snape's desk but sat as far apart as possible. He noticed.

"Alright, your punishment is a detention for each of you for skipping class, thirty points from each of your houses, I want each of you to assist Hagrid for two nights, but I don't want you guys to assist him on the same night. They will be school nights, and no Hogsmeade weekend for either of you."

"No!" I yelled to the last one. They both looked really surprised. "It's just that...I made definite plans with Corrina and some other girls and it would mean a lot to me if I could go. I'll skip every other Hogsmeade trip for the rest of the year."

Snape looked really surprised at this, "You can attend this weekend, but not the following too. Is that fair?"

I nodded. He didn't even give Harry a chance to object.

"Harry you are dismissed. Pansy, I want to talk to you without him."

Harry grabbed his book that he had with him and didn't look back when he left.

"What the hell is your problem, Pansy? I know you and Draco broke up, the wanker told me but Potter? Was that suppose to make you feel better about yourself?"

I didn't reply. Snape is Draco's godfather and although he doesn't like Draco with girls, he never seemed to mind me. I wasn't sure if he was on Draco's or my side.

"I just...it just happened. I already fucking regret it okay. Don't make it worse."

He looked at me like it was painful.

"I know you've been through hell. Draco, although my godson, can be as big of a bitch as both his parents. If he bothers you, just tell me. But Pansy, you're better than both those boys."

I looked at him, and for the first time in my life Severus Snape looked like he cared.

I stood up and headed out. As I went to open the door, I turned to him.

"Thanks."

"Pansy, I know that growing up with your uncle and that side of the family must have been hard. I don't know what you've been through. But I fought alongside your uncle on numerous occasions and I'm aware that he's a very cruel man. I'm not saying, or accusing him of anything, but I just need you to tell me if anything ever happens to you, if he ever does anything to you, just tell me. I could get you out."

"Bye." And I walked out.


	12. Wanted

**Wanted **

Harry stood down the hall. He was leaning against the grimy stone walls that lined the dungeons. He didn't turn to look at me until I was right next to him.

"What did he say?"

"None of your business." He nodded and we walked together. No words were spoken.

The hallway become two; one heading to the Great hall and one heading to my dormitory. Harry stopped.

"I'm sorry for saying what I did earlier," Harry said. He couldn't seem to look me in the face. "I really want to be with you, but I need you to be able to talk to me without getting angry. I need us to have some conversation, not some nasty remark you throw my way."

"What do you want me to say?" I replied, sounding desperate.

He paused, "I don't know. Just tell me that who the hell you are maybe."

We stared at each other. I had never been in a confrontation when someone wanted to know about me. For some reason, I really wanted to tell him my entire life story. But I didn't want to scare him. I took a few seconds.

"I'm Pansy Parkinson. I recently got dumped by my abusive boyfriend. Tomorrow, I'm going to Hogsmeade with my roomates, hopefully I can count them as friends. I'm not excited for fall break at all, I hate my family. I live with my pedophile uncle, his wife and my aunt, his sister. I'm actually excited to help Hagrid. I also really hate oranges."

Harry looked shocked for a moment`, then he started cracking up.

"I"m Harry Potter, the boy who lived. I live with my aunt, uncle and cousin who I despise. I go to the Burrow as often as possible, that's where the Weasley's live. I would play Quiddtich 24/7 if I could. I love oranges."

Then he kissed me. A real kiss. The kind you see in the movies. And he just held my sides, no hands running up my curves or going for my boobs. I loved it.

"Well Harry Potter. It's getting late, you need to get back to your dorm," I said.

"You're right, I forgot I have something to do."

"And what is that?"

"Talk to Ginny."

"And what are you going to say," I stammered. Truly nervous for the first time in monthes.

"That I have you."

Sorry it was so short, but I didn't think it needed anything else. R&R


	13. Happy

**Happy**

My dream woke me up. It was me trying to find a way out of my house, but the house wasn't mine. It was a giant maze with people who kept telling me I was going the wrong way. It took me a half hour to go back to sleep, then it just came back.

So at about 3 a.m. I decided that a nice walk around the grounds would make me feel better. I walked out through my secret room and headed over to Hagrid's hut. He was making his biscuits.

They used to be horrible, rock-hard concrete but I gave him a new recipe and I could actually bite into them. He always added some ingredient that threw it off.

" Hello, darlin.' How have yeh been?" he said to me. "Yeh haven' visited me since forever. How's Hogwarts treatin' yeh?"

I smiled and talked. I told him everything, the girls, Draco and Harry (but I left some of _those _details out).

He told me all about his giantess girl-friend. By five, I realized that I should atleast get another hour of sleep.

"Before yeh leave, what do yeh think yeh will be doin' at the end o' the year?"

I stopped.

"I have no fuckin' idea. I want to graduate early. Then I'm not quite sure."

He told me that I should plan it out, like every adult does, and let me out the door.

When I woke up, I realized that it was Hogsmeade weekend. I got dressed in a very cute deep blue skirt and tied the top of my hair back. With some of my mother's old earrings, the outfit felt complete.

I wasn't sure when I would see Harry, but when all the other girls were done, we headed down to the Great Hall to meet with some of the other girls.

Their group consisted of every house. We must have had fifteen people with us. There was a few of the loner boys. I noticed that Neville was joining us.

We broke into two groups and I joined Corrina, a girl named Ginger, and this quiet chick named Tina.

It was the most fun we ever had.

First, we picked out a hideous dress for each other and had to try them on. I was forced into this floral, ruffly pink dress that made me look like a fat, middle age prostitute.

Second, we actually looked for cute stuff. When I tried on a lower cute sundress, Corrina told me that I needed to rip that "thing" off me. I didn't think it was that horrible. Then she explained to me that you can't have a lowcut dress that also happens to be short. It's trashy. I had to choose between the two. No one had ever told me this. I loved her.

Third, once we each found something, Ginger sat me down at this make-up counter and they went crazy. I looked really good, and no one had ever payed that much attention to me.

Once we were done, we met up at Hog's Head. The moment we walked in, I noticed that floor was gross, the tables were dirty and the glasses looked fogged over from dust. I shuddered at the thought of drinking from their.

"He serves us booze, I don't care" was what a cute, curly-haired Ravenclaw told me. He had gone to the candy store with Marliana. I figured they were dating when he wrapped his arm around her waist. No surprise.

The old man serving at the bar looked really familiar. I couldn't place it, then Tina whispered in my ear "That's Dumbledore's brother. They don't get along, I don't think."

I was shocked. This man was quite short, and a little fat even. He didn't carry the same twinkle in his eye or the wisdom with him. Looking around the room, I felt bad for him. This place was a wreck and the man didn't look happy.

Something came over me and I walked up to him.

"Hello, I'm Pansy Parkinson. I'm a student at Hogwarts. I'm considering graduating early, so I would be out about Christmas time and I'm going to need a job. Would, by chance, need some help? I could clean the floors, dishes, serve, waitress, whatever you need."

He seemed baffled that I offered to work here. He took a quick look around, "Write down your name. I also have a few rooms upstairs that I rent out by the week. Would you be willing to do some laundry and clean that aswell?"

That did not appeal to me quite as much as serving alcohol, but I merely replied with a smile, "Whatever you need me for."

After conversing with him for a few more minutes on me and what he would need, he took my name and told me that he would think about it and send me a letter. Awesome.

Nothing else eventful happened. We talked to some men dressed in dark clothes, but there were no fights. It was still horribly enjoyable. My abs hurt from laughing.

It started getting later and one of the girls wanted to stop by Rosmerta's bar. We decided to stop by on the way back to the school. When we entered, I could barely hear anything. The pub was so loud and busy that I regretted coming here instead of Hog's head before.

I felt someone grab from behind and turned around to find Harry Potter in my face. I leaned in and kissed him, I noticed Corrina raise her eyebrows but no one said anything. Harry lead me off to the side of the room.

"So how was your day?" He asked.

We smiled at each other as I told him about trying to get a job, and he apparently went with Ron by that stupid shack and met up with Fred and George Weasley. We couldn't stop smiling. I knew people were watching us.

He grabbed my hand and told me that Ginny knew about me. My heart skipped a beat. Pure happiness.

I walked back with Harry and his friends. Granger wouldn't look at me, but fire crouch was trying. Neville had decided to walk back with us. He grinned at me when Granger was talking. I guess he could tell how happy I was.

Harry walked me to the dungeons. We kissed and chitchatted. We seemed oblivious to the stupid-asses walking towards us.

"Hey, Potter. What do you think you're doing over here?" Crabbe asked.

We both jumped and turned towards the voice. Draco, Crabbe, Goyle and some younger Slytherin was with there. Goyle had his arm wrapped around the girl and I was about 90% sure that he was getting laid tonight.

"Just talking to my girlfriend, but I have to go anyway." Then he turned, kissed me and walked passed them. I was petrified.

Draco didn't move towards Harry, he watched him walk off and then he turned to me.

"What the hell Pansy?"


	14. Violated

**Violated**

"What the hell Pansy?"

Crabbe laughed and pulled the girl through the portrait into the Common Room. Goyle quickly followed, but he took a look back before he came in. He knew what Draco was like pissed, and he seemed like he didn't really want to leave me alone with him.

"Bye, Goyle," Draco ordered.

Goyle nodded and continued on. He gave me an I-feel-bad-for-you-look before he disappeared. I'm fucked and he knew it.

I wished Harry hadn't left me. I knew he wanted me to face Draco on my own, but I don't think he ever fully comprehended my problem with Draco. I can never win. All Harry had to do was tell Ginny they were over, I was better off fighting a Greyback.

"What's with you and Potter?" He asked me.

Silence. He look half-entertained, half-serial killer.

I looked at him and mustered all my courage. This wasn't going to end well no matter what I said, so being me I said the stupidest thing ever.

"I've liked him for awhile and apparently he liked me too. We just got together this weekend, it no big deal."

"No big deal?" He asked me with a terrifying voice. Draco gets angry on an hourly basis, but he looked like he would rip the world apart if he could, after ripping me and Harry first.

He grabbed my arm and started pulling me down the hallway, away from the Great Hall and deeper into the dungeons.

"What do you think you're doing? You have no right-"

"Shut up, whore."

He pushed me into an empty room. I looked around and realized it was a closet for Snape's old and worn cauldrons. The room was covered with them.

"You can't boss me around anymore. I'm sick of it."

He grabbed my face and slapped me.

"You belong to me. Why do you think you have the right to be with anyone else?"

"I don't belong to you," I spat. "I don't want you anymore and you made it perfectly clear you didn't want me."

He laughed at me. I felt myself break a little. I never understood why I always broke down around him. I thought I loved him. And a little bit of me did.

"I'll always have you Pansy. No one else could ever put up with you," he said as he took a step towards me. I froze, trying not to cry. "And you will always need me. Potter will just throw you out like trash anyway."

"Because you didn't?"

He pushed his body into me, pining me against a few of the cauldrons. He had his hands on my wrists and there was no way I could move. He brought his face up to mine and whispered in my ear.

"I want you too bad."

My body went into shock. He wants me? He still wants me?

"You know I would never do that. I have to have you, Pansy. I thought you would know that by now."

No, was all I could think. Not again. I'm not going through another round of begging and pleading and sex and anger and frustration.

"Well it's too late. Even if it wasn't for Harry, I...I can't tolerate this anymore." I tried to push him off of me with the little power I could muster in my situation. He didn't even budge.

I looked up into his eyes and he was smirking.

He let go of one of my hands, but I was still unable to do anything. It wasn't until after I saw he grabbed his wand that I screamed. But it was too late, he muttered a muting spell. Nothing came out when I tried to speak.

"Then he reached down and pulled up my skirt and pulled down my underwear. My free hand was pushing trying to push his hand away, but he was so strong. My panties fell to the floor and I was still struggling. He took my mouth with his and kissed me roughly. He always likes it rough and tears were falling down my face. He licked one of them with his tongue and I cried more.

I knew that I wasn't supposed to fight back, my uncle had taught me long about the rules. It makes it more painful. Your just suppose to take it. But for some reason I went against my years of training and put my all my strength into pushing him away. He shifted his body pining me with his shoulder.

It was going to happen, I knew it was. I could feel his cock pulsating against me, still in his pants. He undid his belt, dropped his pants and boxers. He took his face against me and pushed inside of me, and I couldn't even scream. I felt like I was being torn apart, he entered me with such power,I threw my hand back and knocked over a cauldron, breaking it.

"That's how you like it, isn't it?"

He started rocking back and forth, going deeper and deeper. I could barely breathe. It hurt worse and worse with every thrust. Tears fell down my neck. Draco was so large.

I started to black out from the pain. I looked down to see blood dripping down my leg. I had never wanted to cut myself so bad at the moment. Just to end it.

When I started going in and out, I heard a loud bang and a spark of colors. Draco came out of me and I was thrown to the ground, losing consciousness.


	15. Innocent

**Innocent**

I woke up in darkness. My whole body ached and I wished that I would just float into oblivion. It took me a few moments to realize that I was in a bed in the Hospital Wing and not on the dungeons' floor. I sat up and was glad to find I could talk again.

"You awake, honey?" Someone asked me through the darkness.

I jumped a little and regretted it. A light flickered on and I realized that my bruises were showing and I had new ones. I pulled the blanket up to cover my body. I looked up to see the Madame Pomfrey looking at me.

"What can I get you dear? Dumbledore was here earlier, but we wanted you to sleep before we find out what happened. You can tell my anything now if you'd like. .

"I don't remember what happened. Well, I do. But, how did I get here?"

The nurse looked at me with a huge amount of pity. I hated it.

"Your friend Jenni and her boyfriend Blaise were coming back from Hogsmeade. They heard something break, apparently it was a cauldron, and walked on Draco...um..what was going on. They immediately shot some spells but you blacked out. Draco was frozen and it caused a lot of commotion. Severus Snape immediately brought you here and Albus is with Draco right now. They were going to wait for you to wake up before they decided what they are going to do. He's defiantly getting expelled at this point."

"Sorry to interrupt, but can I speak to Pansy, Pomfrey?" I turned my head to see Snape looking really tired.

"I think it can wait 'til morning, Severus." She responded.

"No, it's okay." I said. I just wanted to not have to talk about it at all, but better now than later.

The nurse left the room and Snape took the chair next to the bed. He leaned back and closed his eyes.

"Thank you." I said.

He opened his eyes and looked at me.

"Are all the bruises from Draco?"

I looked down at the bed sheets. So apparently everyone seemed to know everything. I nodded without looking at him.

"Pansy, you should have told someone."

My eyes started to water. It was silent. I knew it was my fault, always letting him do things to me. But I didn't want everyone to see what a horrible person I was. Jenni and Blaise will have told the entire school by morning. Everyone will know what I did. What Draco did.

"Pansy?" he murmured.

"Who would I have told?"

He seemed taken aback by that.

"You could have told me. Or any of the teachers. Or any of the girls in your dorm. They would have immediately gotten you some help. Why didn't you just say _something_?"

Snape looked genuinely upset. I glanced up at him and I was lost for words. I could have told someone.

"I'm sorry, I know it's all my fault. I just...how do you say that?" Then I started to ball. I just couldn't keep myself together. I was a complete mess.

Snape let me cry. He stood up and put his hand on my back. It shocked me, I thought he was going to leave.

"It's not your fault. Draco did this to you, you are just the victim. He can be a scary kid. I knew he was an ass, but I didn't know he was capable of _this._"

I got control of myself for a moment and Snape pulled the seat closer to the bed and sat down.

"We have sent an owl to your house but it seems your family is on vacation in Ireland. You're house elf replied. I'll sit here until you go back to sleep. We're taking control of everything in the morning. It's gonna be fine. I was wondering if you would like me to fetch Harry for you. Or anybody."

I lay down facing him. I closed my eyes and thought hard.

"Corrina. I want to tell her first. It would be easier for me to practice...getting the story out."

Snape smiled, "That sounds good."

Within moments. I fell asleep.


	16. Freed

**Freed**

The next morning, I told Corrina. It took a lot of time and a lot of effort but by the end, I felt better, like it was over. She sat on my bed, held my hand and cried with me. I'd never felt so close to someone before. She skipped her first class to stay with me, and then came back as often as she could. The teachers wanted to monitor me for awhile, Draco had caused a lot of damage and they wanted to make sure I was sane.

Draco was expelled the next morning, and after I told about my uncle, Dumbledore immediately had him arrested. Draco, being an adult, also had the chance of being prosecuted but I said no. Just let him rot at home and that would be enough. They complied although none of the adults seemed to want to.

Jenni visited, occasionally with Blaise, and I enjoyed it. Although a ditz, she was quite entertaining and I kept up with all the gossip. She didn't care what I wanted to talk about. She would bring games to play, candy or the occasional bottle of alcohol to sneak me when no one was looking.

It took Harry a week to come see me. When he did come, he just sat down and we stared at each other for awhile. Then I told him in my own words what happened, I didn't know what rumors were swirling around Hogwarts. He was so blank when I told him, and when I told him about my uncle he shuddered.

Then he kissed me. It felt good to have someone care. He knew I didn't want to say anything more. He ended up being the one to visit me and bring me my homework.

Two weeks later, I started going to class again. People gave me looks, but I was used to it. I had a few friends and even Granger and Weasley were getting better. They seemed to tolerate me.

At the end of the year, I actually got decent grades. It took a lot of essays but Marliana had dedicated herself to being my tutor. She helped me with every subject and then we started being friends. Once, a third year Gryffindor said something vile towards me and Marliana stood up for me. I had never felt so loved.

Right before we were out for summer, I received a letter from Aberforth Dumbledore saying that if I wanted to start, I could the week school lets out. I replied saying that my home situation was up in the air and that if I could rent out the room above the bar that I would work six days a week, clean and cook plus we could make a deal for pay.

Aberforth agreed and then I became a maid/waitress/cook/boarder at Hogs' Head. It was the best time of my life. My new friends stopped by and I learned that I could take the seventh year exams early so I studied and I did.

Passing the exams over the summer with flying colors, I graduated from Hogwarts and kept my job at the bar. Sometimes Harry spent the night and sometimes he didn't. We started growing apart and neither of us could help it. When Jenni broke up with Blaise, she slept on my couch for two months (she didn't go back to school) before she met a new man to live with.

She still visited every once in a while, but the breaks between them grew longer and longer until I didn't even know what she was doing or with who.

The days went by quickly. I got to know the regulars, who looked like "bad news" for Hogs Head standards, and what creep asses to look out for.

Aberforth and I got to know each other, and within a few weeks he was basically my grandpa. He started caring when Harry spent the night, saying that I was a respectable girl who didn't need that. I would retort back that I'm a waitress at a bar I live at. He would just shake his head and sigh.

There was only one day that I went back to my old, self-destructive ways. The way I was for years, doing things because I thought I had to and I got a slight high from the pain and the "love". One day, Draco came in.


	17. Ended

**Ended**

He came in when the bar was pretty much empty, except for a regular lurking in the back sipping his Fire Whiskey.

I heard the door open and close, but I was in the middle of making the customer's usual. After finishing the meal, I saw a cloaked man sitting at the bar, but I didn't see his face. I took the dinner to the regular and went behind the bar.

I turned my back to grab a glass, asking "What can I get you?"

"My favorite, please."

I froze .I knew that voice. I hadn't heard it for almost eight months, but I knew it.

Slowly, I turned around and looked into his gorgeous eyes. Trying to hide my shaking hands, I poured his liquor gave him his vodka. He had taken a seat front and center. I couldn't keep my eyes off him.

His eyes traced my body. I watched him look at my face, down my neck. His eyes paused on my chest, where I had gained some weight from eating healthy. My heart skipped a beat. I remembered all the times he had caressed and touched me, on my nipples and elsewhere. Taking a quick breathe, I felt my underwear go wet. After everything, I couldn't forget the way it was when things were good. But I didn't want those thoughts in my head.

His eyes continued down my body. The bar was well heated, so I was wearing a short skirt and flip-flops. I watched him see my newly toned legs and calves. When his eyes met mine again, I could see the lust in his eyes. I knew he could see it in mine too.

"You look gorgeous." My hair was in a messy bun and there was grease on my apron. I had never felt so good in front of him.

"Can't say the same for you." I replied tightly. His face had horrible dark circles beneath his eyes and he looked too skinny. His hair had been growing for awhile, it almost reached his shoulders.

Aberforth came into the bar then. He was talking to me about how I needed to go clean up my mess before it cooks to the stove. He stopped dead when he saw Draco. I had told Aberforth everything, and he had never seen Draco but Draco's features looked so much like his parents and with the blonde hair, Aberforth knew who it was.

"Get out. You aren't allowed here."

Draco just looked at me, waiting for my response. I looked down at the floor, unable to say anything or look at either one.

"I suggest you leave before I make you leave, boy."

I looked at his back as he headed out the door. He looked more like a man to me.

It took me less than a moment after the door closed to take off my apron and follow him. Aberforth called my name, asking me to come back. He seemed appalled that I would ever talk to my nightmare. It had taken me months to sleep well again.

Draco was leaning towards the side of the building in the alleyway. He had his head pushed up against the wall and his fist resting like he had just punched the wall. The air showed his heavy breaths.

"Fuck," was all he mustered at himself.

I walked towards him, shivering in my summer outfit. He didn't notice me, until I took his hand in mine.

"I'm so sorry," he said without looking at me.

Knowing that I shouldn't, I let go of his hand and turned his head towards me. Without thoughts, without common sense, I kissed him. Nice and soft. It was the first kiss I had ever had with Draco that wasn't rough, or naughty. We started kissing more and more, going deeper but never speeding up. He put his arms around my waste and lifted me, turning my body so it was against the wall. I couldn't help at giggle and we broke apart to look at each other.

He lifted his fingers and lightly touched my face. I closed my eyes and just felt the intensity of us.

"Pansy, I don't know why I ever did that stuff to you. No one should have that done to them. And you, you're amazing. You never tried to hurt me, or even fight back."

"I didn't know how."

He just looked at me, and I had never seen him look so...depressed.

"Pansy?" Aberforth yelled.

Both Draco and I jumped. We looked up to see Aberforth and he was fuming.

"Pansy, if you want to maintain your job you need to come inside right now." I didn't want to leave Draco, but for some reason I knew Aberforth was right in bringing me back inside.

I kissed Draco on the cheek, and went back inside. I turned around and saw the he had apparated away and my stomach dropped.

"What were you thinking?" Aberforth asked.

"I wasn't. I just...he was here. I needed to say something and..." slightly annoyed, Aberforth stayed by the bar for the next few minutes before our regular left and then we closed up.

With few words, we both went to bed. I almost died at the coldness of my room and realized I had left the window opened. Sitting on my dresser next to a gorgeous black owl, was a note.

Pansy,

Never forgive me for what I did. You are the only good thing I ever had, and everything I did to you was horrible and you just took it. I know that I would do it again, I can't stop. You aren't the only person that I've taken my hatred out on, but you will be my last.

Yours forever,

Draco

I went to sleep, trying to figure out what the note meant exactly. Draco always hid meanings between his words even when he didn't mean to. It didn't make sense until the next morning, the newspaper's top story read, "Malfoy takes his own life."

Random-ass ending I know. But I liked it. Tell me what you think.


End file.
